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"To allow fear to be in control of one's life, is to limit oneself and all around you. Connect with your children, with your learners. Understand them, understand their worlds and grow with them, not against them".




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Tuesday, 17 August 2010

The innovator returns to share her voice

Why do innovators become disillusioned and sometimes cease to have a voice?  In my experience because:
1: I did not see in myself what others see in me
2: I did not have the confidence in myself to continue
3: My self esteem was down
4: Being told in some educational arenas that I should 'shut up' as I was talking 'wanky shit'
5: I felt that I was not supported by those who mattered - in fact I was I just had the wrong people labelled as those who mattered
6: I became frustrated with the surrounds of mediocrity
7: I did not have resilience skills
8: I was unable to lead the change required in the environment I was in
9: I was knocked down once to often and began to give up
10: I needed the strength to move on

Not a sad story folks, my reality and it has lead me to bigger and better things personally and I hope professionally.  I may have been quiet for sometime and have made the odd effort to gain my voice back, but in all of that time I have learnt so much more, lurking online, puddling around, continuing to learn in secret to some extent.

I am now ready once again to share my learning about social networking, social media, e-learning and the like.  All from personal experience.

What I can say is that if you enjoy my experiences, can take something positive away, whatever it is you take then this is my gift.  I you do not agree, then challenge my thoughts. experiences.  If you just simply think I am full of rubbish then just do not read.

To those who have supported me through the years  -  thank you.  It has taken me a while to truly get back out here and do what I believe I do well, but thanks to the believers I am back:)

A huge thank you to just a few of my heros - Stephen Downes, Alexander Hayes, Al Upton xxxx

3 comments:

Sean FitzGerald said...

Hi Jacinta,

I have a similar story. I walked away from the ed-tech sector in late 2008 because I was heading for a breakdown. I was gettig frustrated. I felt like I was constantly hitting brick walls.

I can relate to almost all of your points.

A point of difference and the main problem for me though is that I was in the wrong place trying to fight a battle that wasn't mine to fight. Trying to impact on the education sector really wasn't what I was meant to be doing.

Since then I've been doing a lot of reading and research and exploring topics of interest to me in an attempt to discover what my true purpose is.

I'm still finding it a challenge to gain confidence in my opinions and find my voice.

Thanks for an honest and brave post.

Jacinta Gascoigne said...

Hi Sean, Thank you for your honesty and for raising a very important point, 'wrong place at the wrong time' and 'fighting a battle that was not yours to fight'.

I hung in for a long time and tried to make a difference. I did not get the above two points until I did have a 'breakdown' one that challenges me to this day, but not one I need hide anymore.

Like you Sean, I have spent a great deal of time, reading, researching, playing around online. It is amazing where one finds oneself some days.

My voice and my opinion are still difficult to find and share at times, I am getting stronger as time goes on and I have the most incredible mentor Alexander Hayes, who has stood by me at my lowest and highest and everywhere in between. It was he who suggested I start blogging years ago, the best thing I did at the time was take his advice.

He now kicks me virtually when I go quiet for too long.

Let's keep in touch Sean - our journey's are not easy ones but I have to believe that they are rewarding, even if the rewards are a long time coming:)

EJ said...

A truly heartfelt post and writing about truth always lead to good things. I think your blog is excellent, marrying web 2.0 tools with cost effective training solutions like elearning is definitely where education is headed. More power!